Byte Me

I’m still cursing. Cursing everyone at Dell with whom I’ve come into contact regarding my supremely fucked-up hard drive ever since it decided to totally “conk out” on me on Thursday, 13 December. Everyone except for two nice women I spoke with on one of the toll-free numbers I had to call various times during this horrible ordeal. To those women — Carmella and Donna — I extend a smirky “thank you”. To the rest of you incompetent cretins — especially David, the Tech Support charmer who failed to put through my order for a new hard drive and tech service, and who so adorably failed to log our communication into Dell’s system, and Jerry, the inept, floundering lech who incorrectly installed the new hard drive (no thanks to the aforementioned dolt, David), I extend not only the curious contents of my cat’s litter box but also all of the bitter-green bile you forced my liver to produce in reaction to your incompetence. Merry Xmas, motherfuckers.