Every day is like Sunday

Well, it’s been January 2 for all of ten minutes, and I, for one (or two or three), couldn’t be happier that the “official” holiday season is now at an end. I enclose the word official in quotes, because it’s a distinction of my own creation. I know that for some people, such as the Armenians (and those of you who are Armenian may certainly correct me if I’m wrong) (that doesn’t mean that I won’t get pissed at you for pointing out my error, but still you can do so), the holiday period is extended until January 6 or so, but for my purposes I’m just talking about “the holidays” as regular ol’ bohunk “Americans” consider them: Christmas and New Year’s. (And really, who cares about all that crazy Channnuuukkkah and Kwanzaa stuff, anyway?)
I’m just glad it’s all over. But then again … it really isn’t … not even for them there Regular Americans. No, we’re going to be reminded, far too many times each day, until February or so, that we are, indeed, in a new year. We will be treated to an ebullient “Happy New Year!” (spoken with initial caps) when people first see us and another one when they depart — sort of like “Shalom!” but not nearly as groovy. Secretaries will sing it in unison as they dash to and from the elevator. Businessmen, sturdy and hearty in their business suits, will clap each other on the back with all the robust good cheer of the same Santa who signed his secret name to this year’s versions of their pollyana ties. People will feel compelled to say it to others they ordinarily don’t even greet with a simple hello.
Twice today, I heard my voice attach itself to those three little words. Both times were at the gym, and I daresay I audibly cringed with each occasion. The phrase flew out of my mouth like some strange butterfly who knew it wasn’t quite comfortable coming out to play in the cold but who came out anyway just to see what it felt like. And I’ve just gotta say … it felt … stupid.
(Oh my god. You didn’t really think I was going to say, “It felt … oh so right, like hot cocoa on a cold day,” did you? Oy!)
The party’s over. And I wasn’t even invited!