Equinox Bulletin Board

Dear Anonymous Samaritan Who Returned My Errant CD to the Lost-n-Found:
First of all, thank you. Thank you for your honesty. I mean, wow. When I lost this CD last week, I was really quite upset, because it took me quite a long time to download all of those really hot ’80s tunes from the internet, and when my hard drive decided to conk out on me way back in December, I lost all of the tunes that I’d amassed. And when I asked the helpful boy at the front desk if anyone had turned in a CD that had run amok, I just knew it was going to be a lost cause.
So you can imagine the excitement I felt when he gingerly (such respect!) lifted a plain white CD out of the plastic lost-n-found box under the counter and brought it to me. I knew it was mine without having to listen to it. I would know those sweaty fingerprints marring the silvery “down”-side anywhere! When I placed it lovingly into my CD player to make sure it was mine, and heard The Bangles’ “Hazy Shade of Winter”, I knew I’d struck gold! My faith in humanity was restored. And here I thought I’d lapsed into full-blown misanthropy again, which is something I feared would happen after months of pretending to be magnanimous after The Events of September Eleventh. Anyway, thanks again. You’re the best!
P.S. If there’s anything I can do for you — like make you a CD!!! — please don’t hesitate to ask!

Uhh … hi. I’m the guy who found that CD. I was going to take it home and add it to my collection, but there’s no way in hell I’d be able to live with myself if I owned a CD full of crap like “Take On Me” by A-Ha. You should be ashamed of yourself.