Cliche, I say

I’m not a big fan of clichés, but I suppose they must be at least somewhat true; otherwise, they wouldn’t have become clichés. But then again, maybe that’s not entirely true. I offer the following three examples:

  1. It takes one to know one.
    No it doesn’t. I don’t have to be a rude, ignorant, oblivious zombie to know that the person who didn’t know how to utter the difficult three-syllable phrase “Excuse me” at Candle Cafe the other day as she pressed her three-foot-wide ass in the six-inch gap between my table and hers was, indeed, a rude, ignorant, oblivious zombie. It was quite possible for me to make that observation without being the beast that she was.
  2. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.
    I can knock suicide bombing without actually going through with it myself. (Oh look, she’s so topical!) (And here you all thought I was lost in my own special sort of oblivion, didn’t you.)
  3. You never know unless you try.
    If you’ve ever seen the end of Pink Flamingos, you’ll know that this is a bunch of bullshit. Or dog shit.