I apologize, everyone, if your day was ruined because you weren’t able to get onto my page earlier today. I realize that going without my wonderful words is like going without coffee, heroin, or your daily dose of “Family Circus”, so I really do sympathize. I just hope everyone had enough of his or her alternate addictive substance today in order to “cope” with the harsh reality that my adorable prose was not available.

So please accept my apologies if you spent the day curled under your desk in a ratty chenille robe, arms wrapped around your shivering knees, rocking gently to and fro, braiding what little hair you had left after you pulled it out just moments earlier, humming TV theme songs softly to yourself, cursing me and saying in a singsong baby voice, “Because I say so, because I say so!”

Still friends?