Celebrity Schnookalikes

I can’t stand celebrity lookalikes. (Doesn’t the word “lookalike” look weird — like it would be a Hawaiian flower pronounced loo-KAH-lih-kee?) I don’t know exactly what it is about them that annoys me so much. Maybe it’s the “mugs” they sport when they invariably play up to the camera. Maybe it’s that they always look desperate. Or maybe it’s because they’re usually worse versions of celebrities who are bad enough in original form.
Well, however you slice ’em, no matter how you dice ’em, no matter if you set ’em afire and exclaim, “Cherries jubilee!!!”, I just don’t like celebrity lookalikes. (But I do like the idea of a delicately aromatic Hawaiian flower, presented in a simple vase, on the sill of an open window.)
One riveting segment of “Live With Regis and Kelly” this morning featured a group of so-called regular people assembled to represent the cast of “Friends”. The Jennifer Aniston lookalike was particularly ridiculous, in that the only resemblance she had to Aniston (this girl called her “Jennifer”, though, as if being selected, however fallaciously, to be the celebrity lookalike, gave her permission to be so familiar) was the haircut. Unless, of course, Aniston, overnight, gained about 40 pounds, five inches, and a decidedly square chin. The rest of the “cast” at least bore a faint (in the case of “Joey”, it was extremely faint) resemblance to the celebrities they were supposed to represent.
In all fairness to today’s “Jennifer Aniston” lookalike, she said that she didn’t think she resembled Aniston. So she’s not a total loser. (Therefore, I may be willing to forgive her for the “Jennifer” thing.) But the people for whom I reserve the most disdain are those who actually offer their unsolicited opinions about whom they think they resemble. People like those on “AOL Today” (even though I have a “real” cable internet connection, I still have AOL too; why, I don’t know) who have the nerve not only to say they look like someone famous but the guts to ask for ratings. Or people who submit their pictures to sites like this.
People (both strangers and friends) have told me I look like Gina Gershon and Linda Fiorentino (especially as she appeared in The Last Seduction). I’ve also gotten “Julia Roberts” (but no, I refuse to include a picture of her, because she rankles the hell out of me), and “even better than Julia Roberts!” from one particularly ardent admirer.
The Julia Roberts deal is just ridiculous (although I must say I think I am “even better” than she is). However, overall, I’d have to say that Linda Fiorentino is the best choice. (She has, indeed, been approached to be my lookalike on a FOX program slated to air sometime this fall.) But when I’m at the gym, and delicately perspiring, I’d have to go with Gina Gershon. Either way, I can’t lose!
So how about you? Who have people told you you resemble? Imogene Coca, the Bradys’ “Aunt Jenny”? Nadia Comenici circa 1976? A young Tab Hunter? Underdog?
P.S. Go here for a fun-tastic piece written by someone I don’t know but wish I did. It has nothing to do with celebrity lookalikes, but manages to excoriate quite a few of the genuine articles. Delicious.