No Contest

shana evil eye.jpg cockroach.jpg
One of these two lovelies is a permanent resident of this apartment. The other, a vagrant. One of them didn’t survive a nighttime scuffle.
One of them decided to explore the bathroom after midnight last night, causing a barefoot me to emit a girlie squeal and flee the room in such a way that an observer would think the floor was made not of tile but of fiery coals. And not just because I’m modest and can’t even share that room with anyone I do know, let alone a scuttling stranger.
One of them was found on its back by the other’s food bowl this morning.
And the other is strutting around the place like she slayed a dragon.
So apparently Shana has not only forgiven me for neglecting to mention her in a recent entry, but has extended her generosity to making up for her act of revenge. And now I don’t have to worry that every errant tickle on my legs is evidence of the squatter’s insistence on staying here rent-free and without invitation.
I wouldn’t have been able to evict him via such extreme measures as Shana did. As I’ve said before, I cannot kill anything and will not kill anything. I once bargained with a roach in my apartment in Philadelphia, telling him, “I’m going to go upstairs now, and I expect you to be gone when I come back down. Just take your things and go quietly.” There was no “or else”, of course, but the roach complied anyway, and left a nice note thanking me for my hospitality. That was pre-Shana.
One of his relatives showed up sometime later, when Shana and I were sharing that old apartment, but wasn’t so lucky. He met the same fate as last night’s after hours visitor.
I’m not even sure the scuffle was a physical one. I’m inclined to believe that it all came down to a staring match. And I’m willing to bet that the insect blinked first, after having spontaneously sprouted eyelids just for this occasion. But obviously even that couldn’t provide adequate protection against the formidable green flash of Shana’s evil radiation eye.
I’m just relieved she has forgiven me. Otherwise, that unrelenting, judgmental stare could have forced me to seek other living arrangements. And I’m really not in the mood to pack.
P.S. I now have no desire to eat these.