* * *
This reminds me of a guy I went out with in the very late ’80s. Let’s just call him “Trey” (not his real name, of course). Trey was (and still is) a lawyer, about eight years older than I. He was well-educated, -read, -travelled, and lived in a very well-“appointed” apartment on a tree-lined block in Center City Philadelphia. He was extremely intelligent and had an excellent vocabulary and a strange (in a good way) sense of humor.
One night we were in a dimly lit restaurant, drinking quite a bit of wine. We were getting a bit giddy thanks, in great part, to the wine, but also to the anticipation of doing something we hadn’t yet done (no, I will not spell it out for you). I don’t know what we were discussing. I do know that I said something like, “That guy is such a thief” or “That guy was robbed”. I don’t remember exactly what I said or what the context was. Nonetheless, I used either “thief” or “robber” in my description of a situation. (Let’s just say, for purposes of this story, that I said “thief”.) It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t have mattered. But to Trey, it did.
“Well, actually, Jodi,” he said, “technically he isn’t a thief.”
Without pausing to see if I was actually interested (I wasn’t), he continued.
“It’s only thievery if his intention was to escape notice. There’s a difference between thievery, robbery, and burglary. Robbery is the act of unlawfully taking someone else’s property by the use of force or violence. And burglary involves the entering of a building with the intent to commit theft. So you see …”
And his tongue wagged on … and on … but nowhere near mine.
We didn’t wind up “doing” anything later that night, but I almost wish he would have asked for some sort of “action”. Because then I could have responded in kind.
“Now, are you saying you want to ‘make love’, ‘have sex,’ or ‘fuck’? Because technically, Trey, there’s a difference …”