Going? Just go!

I hate when people do that “Goodbye, everyone … it’s been nice BLOGGING, but it’s time for me to start keeping a paper journal instead … I’m going to miss you all … I really am … You’ve seen me through a lot of heartache, a lot of joy, a lot of ups and downs … I really hate to go, but …” nonsense.
Every time I see that, I say to myself, “O … kaaaaay? And …???” and sit here with my palms up, doing that sort of “rolling” thing with my hands the way people do when they want someone to get on with a really long-winded, boring-ass story.
Sometimes it doesn’t bother me. Candi, one of my best “online” friends, for instance, has taken off for a while. Decided to get in a little bit of much-deserved sunburn time. And I hope she is handsomely rewarded. But she’ll be back.
Other times, however — in fact most other times — I feel like saying to the coughing Camilles out there, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, just die already. Stop clutching the hankie, lying back in your quilted pink satin bedjacket, propped up against fluffy pillows, and expire. See ya. Bye. Get out.”
If there ever comes a time when I’ve had enough of the cold, cruel world of “blogging”, you can bet your sweet bippie (whatever that is) that I won’t make a big deal out of it. I’ll just post that ol’ GONE FISHIN’ sign and be on my way, quilted pink satin bedjacket and all.
*cough*