The Hostess with the Toastest

This morning the gym’s café odors included a delightful melange of bacon, pan-fried fish, and cinnamon toast — a trio with all the appeal of Jack, Chrissy, and Janet.
But don’t worry, kids. Today’s Friday treat does not include any item from either of those frightful menages-a-trois. Enjoy this delicacy instead:

Savor, don't gobble!

Enjoy it with some of thisnot the horrendous, gluey, completely unacceptable corn syrupy variety, a la Mrs. Butterworth. (Damn that woman and her obsessive need to perch herself on the breakfast table and spew out her homespun wisdom!)
If you need anything further, please do not hesitate to let me know. (Yes, the “computer problem” was just a ruse. I was really upgrading myself. Don’t I look fabulous?)
Bon appétit!