All right. Enough already. Would everyone and anyone who affects any sort of fake accent kindly stop doing so? I mean, really. Come on.
I don’t care if that trendy hipster at the coffeehouse does it. (And you know he does.) I don’t care if your best friend does it, but it’s funny when he does it because, like, dude, he’s so good at it that everyone believes he really is from Alabama or England or wherever. I also don’t care if you’ve just come back from a month-long vacation in Italy. You are not Principessa Ragazza di Sienna. You are Betty Plishman from New Brunswick. Get over it.
And please please please, under no circumstances should anyone ever say, “A dingo ate my baby.” It didn’t work for Meryl Streep, and it wasn’t funny when Elaine said it on Seinfeld, so chances are that your version isn’t going to be even marginally acceptable.
Fake accents are abominable. I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is.
“Yeah, Jodi, but … Madonna does it!”
Sound argument. Snappy defense. But Madonna also “vogued”.
I rest my case.