Earlier today, while the DOG and I were enjoying a traditional Jewish Christmas feast (Chinese food), Taxi, the actual dog, while lying on the floor watching us unblinkingly for any sign of an offer of food, decided to grace us with his speech about the true meaning of Christmas. (Linus, that blankie-hugging crybaby from “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, has nothing on my dog.) The speech was so moving that I decided to share it here:
Christmas isn’t about a new bone with real meat on it. Christmas isn’t about a new pull toy. It’s not about fancy kibble or a new fleecy blanket or a great new collar. It’s not about earmuffs to keep the dog warm or those little boot things so he doesn’t freeze his paws off. Christmas isn’t about any of that stuff! No, Christmas is all about the love. Love and togetherness. But now that I think about it, it would’ve been nice to have a new fleecy blanket or something. It would’ve been nice if you would’ve gotten off your asses and done something for the dog! So you know what? You can keep your love. I’d rather have a fleecy blanket. And you can keep your togetherness, because come 2003, I am outta here.
And he actually thought that would move us to let him lick our plates clean? Right.