Cold, isn’t it?

Guess what? It’s colder than a witch’s tit outside! Yes! And just so you don’t have to do a frantic Google search to find out just how cold that is, I’ll tell you: it’s exactly 14 degrees Kelvin. You will, however, have to do a Google search to find out how to convert that to Fahrenheit or Celsius or whatever other temperature scale you use. After all, I can’t be expected to do everything around here.
(By the way, this is not new news. Readers of my lovely friend Scott’s site have known this since December 4, when he posted the information that I supplied him that morning.)
So anyway, it’s cold. I’m going to spend the rest of my day in hell, lounging with Satan on satin sheets by a roaring fire and enjoying some spicy snacks. All I have to do is follow the signs.
P.S. Are there witches in hell? And if so, how is possible for them to maintain the cold tit thing while down there? If you go to church today, would you be so kind as to ask someone who might have a better grasp on these things? Thank you.