Hot Dog!

This whimsical item is from the same fine company responsible for outfitting me with my favorite purchase of the Winter 2003 season. I just placed my order! I wanted to get two of each breed, but because I’m on a budget, I limited myself to just one Dalmation (although at these prices you really can’t go wrong by doubling up on the sale items). After all, these canine cuties make great year-round gifts.
No doubt most people who buy lawn ornaments live in the suburbs, so they’ll probably find a home for these on their lush lawns next to the adorable wooden ones that look like an old woman in bloomers bending over. Imagine the look on the neighbors’ faces when they see a dog doing the same thing! And imagine the look on your own when you wake up at 3:00 a.m. because that same neighbor just drunkenly careened into the driveway and stumbled out onto your lawn to vomit into your bushes but got distracted by the undeniable sexiness of a puppy’s sweet upturned ass!
John Waters can keep his pink flamingos!
P.S. I’m glad I live in the city, where my options are limited. I plan to put mine in the cat’s litter box! Can you see it now? I can barely contain myself!