In a Nut’s Hell (Part Two)

Today’s jury duty was considerably less painful than yesterday’s. I was called to be in the first group, comprised of ten people from which only one would be chosen to fill an alternate juror spot.
Today, like yesterday, I only had to sit through one selection session. Unlike yesterday, however, this one did not last long enough for my boots to go out of style.
I liked Ms. H, the attorney for the defense, immediately. She was a very attractive young woman of indeterminate ethnicity. She had very dark longish hair (thick and well-managed) that she wore loose, and was dressed in an unstuffy black pantsuit and white shirt with cool shiny shoes. The bottom button of her jacket was unbuttoned, which, along with the shoes, showed she had some sense of style. I liked her even more by the time the session was over.
Mr. G was another story. As soon as he entered the room, I hated him. In a word, he was … unctuous. He is the stuff that sleazy plaintiffs’ attorneys are made of, which just so happens to be the same stuff that repels me in non-lawyer men. He was youngish. I will be generous and call him Napoleonic. He wore a big boy navy blue pinstriped double-breasted suit. Cuffed pants. Clunky cufflinks. A shiny tie and a mismatched “pocket square”. (I detest those things. They reek of a certain stick-up-the-ass pretension of which I am not too fond.) His hair was very dark, rather curly, extremely oily, in need of a trim, and surrounded a bald spot that in three years will no doubt invade his entire scalp. His fingernails were very well-maintained. I was surprised that they were not painted with clear polish. I did not notice his shoes. I hated him even more by the end of the session.
The case was a “slip and fall”. Someone tripped on a sidewalk and hurt her elbow. Four or fives years ago. I got out of this one by saying the following:

I think slip and fall is a bunch of crap. To the person who falls, I say the following: LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!!

Ms. H said, with a laugh, “Tell us how you really feel,” which ordinarily makes me cringe (but I forgave her because she was purdy), and then quickly added, “No … don’t!” and laughed. She was very affable.
We all shared a hearty laugh.
All of us, except, I think, Mr. G. I didn’t gauge his reaction. I think he was too busy trying to appear down-to-earth by perching himself on the edge of the desk/table — which no doubt rammed the stick up his oily ass even further. I was surprised he didn’t just slide off entirely.
The highlight of the day, however, was meeting and hanging out with two extremely hip and swingin’ chicks: one from my little group today (whom I had noticed yesterday and thought looked very cool) and one from that girl’s group yesterday. We went to lunch (they gave us an hour and 45 minutes today), came back to the waiting room, and were dismissed by 3:15.
As an additional treat, we were relieved of the third day of duty. What a, yes, relief.
Today’s doodle, among others, was Taxi, tap-dancing. I daresay I emulated his fancy footwork on my way out of the Courthouse, as “Freebird”, “I’m Free”, and “Me and Bobby McGee” all swarmed around inside my head, each vying to displace “I’m A Yankee Doodle Dandy”.
And yes, I was careful not to slip and fall down the Courthouse steps.