What do you get when you take Kathleen Turner, Brenda Vaccaro, Suzanne Pleshette, and Lauren Bacall, put them in a blender (or food processor, if you’re feeling ambitious) with a heaping half-cup of Bea Arthur, and then whirr them all together for 15 seconds (using the “pulse” feature on the food processor, if you used one)?
Well, you have a mangled mess of talent-pulp, blood, and tunics especially if you didn’t add juice, water, or some other liquid.
Actually, I meant their voices. I didn’t mean their whole bodies. That would have required a fair amount of folding, bending, and twisting (especially of Bea Arthur she’s surprisingly inflexible, really). So anyway, if you take all of those voices, blend them together, and pour them down my throat, well, you have my voice today. A real smoothie.
I’ve been sick all year. Yes, I know that’s about as asinine as that “See you next year!” thing I mentioned on New Year’s Eve. But it’s just as true!
Feel sorry for me. Thanks.
One year ago: