Sick, Oh!

What do you get when you take Kathleen Turner, Brenda Vaccaro, Suzanne Pleshette, and Lauren Bacall, put them in a blender (or food processor, if you’re feeling ambitious) with a heaping half-cup of Bea Arthur, and then whirr them all together for 15 seconds (using the “pulse” feature on the food processor, if you used one)?
Well, you have a mangled mess of talent-pulp, blood, and tunics — especially if you didn’t add juice, water, or some other liquid.
Actually, I meant their voices. I didn’t mean their whole bodies. That would have required a fair amount of folding, bending, and twisting (especially of Bea Arthur — she’s surprisingly inflexible, really). So anyway, if you take all of those voices, blend them together, and pour them down my throat, well, you have my voice today. A real smoothie.
I’ve been sick all year. Yes, I know that’s about as asinine as that “See you next year!” thing I mentioned on New Year’s Eve. But it’s just as true!
Feel sorry for me. Thanks.
One year ago: