All right, so I’m still not feeling quite right. I’m out of sorts and in the house and about ready to scream because the only Lifetime movie that’s on during the morning or afternoon is some Danielle Steel mega-miniseries thing, and that’s just not acceptable. Why oh why can’t they just run a Tracy Gold marathon and make a poor dying girl happy? I don’t ask for much. Really. (Well, I’m thinking about asking NyQuil to stop hawking itself as a cold remedy and just put itself on the liquor store shelves along with the vodka and gin, but hey that’s not what I meant, and you know it.)
So I’m still not “me”. Last night for a couple of hours I think I was Janet Wood (you know her as Chrissy’s cherubic mop-top sidekick on “Three’s Company”). Or maybe Arnold Horshack (we all know who he is). Not the actors, but the actual characters. Neither was much fun, but I did get to see myself in crotch-huggin’, ass-grabbin’ bellbottom jeans, which is always a bonus. And an ugly gauze top.
So I’m still not “me”. Last night for a couple of hours I think I was Janet Wood (you know her as Chrissy’s cherubic mop-top sidekick on “Three’s Company”). Or maybe Arnold Horshack (we all know who he is). Not the actors, but the actual characters. Neither was much fun, but I did get to see myself in crotch-huggin’, ass-grabbin’ bellbottom jeans, which is always a bonus. And an ugly gauze top.
But I won’t run on and on about my SICKNESS. There’s nothing quite as uninteresting to other people as the details of someone else’s pipsiblinkomonophlebromonstritis.
What I will say is this: How am I supposed to use the microwave or toaster oven now that the NyQuil label admonishes me against using machinery? Maybe I should have waited to take it until after I’d done my big cooking for the day.
Have a nice day, everyone. I’m off to hate Danielle Steel for ruining mine. If I had her phone number, I’d call her right now and have her come over and cook for me. It’d be the least she could do.
Note: The image above was lovingly provided by Mad Genius, who told me, “I had a vision of you drowning in a bottle of NyQuil.”