It has come to my attention that some of you are coming to this site dressed inappropriately. I will not say who told me, and I will not divulge details about what the offenders purportedly were wearing. What I will say is that as of this entry, you are not permitted to read my words unless you are dressed not only to the nines, but to the tens, elevens, twelves, and beyond.
Gentlemen, jackets are required, as are ties. Ascots, monocles, and pocket watches neatly tucked into the pocket of your vest are encouraged. Black tie is optional, but certainly welcome.
Ladies, please dress like one. The current trend of harlotry does not amuse me. Likewise for slatternliness.
Mouth-stained pajamas, Star Wars T-shirts, chenille robes with baby spittle on the shoulder or evidence of wayward lactation, and “my birthday suit, LOL!” are not only unacceptable but grounds for dismissal.
Rest assured that I will treat you with the respect and dignity you so richly deserve if you show me you have earned it by dressing for the occasion.
Remember, a little effort goes a long way.
Good day.