I Can’t Stand It

Oh no. What now? you ask. What else can’t she stand? Is it possible for her to hate something else? Hasn’t she covered just about everything on this, or any other, planet?
No. No, she has not. Not by a mile — or the equivalent in kilometers, for those of you in other countries, or the equivalent in x*&.JP-2y!k/5, for those of you on other planets.
She hates when people refer to themselves in the third person, so she will stop doing so now and thus stop hating herself for the infraction. But that’s not what she I’m referring to in this entry.
What I’m referring to is this ridiculous practice of standing ovations. I’ve been meaning to write about it for some time, but it seems someone beat me to it and said quite a bit of what I wanted to say. (Now I hate her too.) So before you continue here, you may want to read that article.
… I’ll wait. Really. Read it.
… Come on. Don’t be a jackass. READ IT, and then come back. You have time. Stop pretending you’re busy.

* * * * * * *
So, anyway …
I don’t understand the need for unwarranted, obligatory standing ovations at all. I only stand and ovate (not to be confused with “ovulate”) when the performance I’ve just witnessed/experienced stirs up so much energy inside of my body, heart, soul, and viscera (not to mention pants) that remaining seated would require more effort and energy than springing to my feet and applauding so hard my hands sting 15 minutes after I’ve stopped. A standing ovation should occur because you are boiling water in a tea kettle and must be poured before you whistle yourself into vapor.
But to stand just to stand, for any of the reasons outlined in the article? No. I won’t stand for it.
Thank you. You may sit down now.
Link found over at my lovely friend Cas’ site. Go say hello.