Timesavers – Tip #2

You knew I wouldn’t let you down. You’ve been checking back maniacally ever since this past Friday, when I introduced Timesavers, hoping with all your might that I would let you in on another well-kept secret regarding how to manage your time. Then, as now, I was/am here to serve you. And this tip, just like the first, is a surefire winner.
So now, without further fanfare (because my time’s just as valuable as yours, Suburban Mom … and yours too, Mr. CEO!), I present Tip #2. It’s a shocker, so be prepared.

Stop cooking.
And don’t pick up something on the way home, either.
Order in. Every night. You won’t have to waste your time slicing, dicing, julienning, or whatever the hell it is you do in preparation for feeding yourself (and your family, if you have one). Slave no more over the hot stove — or the cool microwave. Stop it already with the recipes and the planning. It’s all such a waste of time!
I don’t care how authentic Ladies Home Journal tells you its recipes are; they’re not. Besides, I hate to break it to you (I really do, because you seem like nice people), but … your stir-fries aren’t as great as you think they are. Emerald Garden/Joy Luck/Happy Buddha do a much better job in their real woks. Same goes for the Crazee Curry in a Hurry that you’ve been dying to try. And those homemade pizzas too. Your family just doesn’t have the heart to tell you that it’s not the same when you make it at home. The sauce is just wrong and the cheese not melty in the right way that really makes a pizza a pizza.
So order in. Always. And if you don’t live in an area where there are very many options, well, then, you have to move. (Yes, I know that moving is a very time-consuming undertaking, but in the long run it’ll be worth it. I mean, who really wants to live in a two-bit schleppy nowhere town where no one delivers, anyway?)

P.S. New Yorkers, check this out!