This Wednesday, it’s supposed to be around 80 degrees here in New York City, which means that people’s choices of warm weather clothing are bound to be woeful. In anticipation of that inevitability, I have just two brief things to say, and then I’ll leave you to your co-workers so you can exchange details about your weekends even though neither one of you is really interested and just wants the other to shut up and leave you alone because it’s Monday and you’re so not in the mood.
So, anyway, here you go:

• If you wear a “belly shirt”, you’d better not have one.
• If you wear a “muscle shirt”, you’d better have some.

At first I was thinking that these two items could be gender-specific, but then I realized that, hey, I spend a lot of time in Chelsea, where there are many boys who bare their bellies, many of whom just … shouldn’t.
Soon I will address other offenses as well, some of which take place below the waist, such as skorts and too-short shorts; many involving foundation garments; still more about shirts; and, of course, the ever-popular shoes (flipflops have already been covered).
Bear with me. But don’t bare near me.
Have a marvelous Monday morning.
Update, 12:14 p.m.: I wondered what my pal Pete was up to when he asked me about a certain kind of shirt, but now I know. Visit Pete to check it out.