No one said it had to be your dad whose day you’d be celebrating today. So if you hate your dad or you don’t have one for whatever reason or you think your dad is already loved by enough people and he won’t notice if you don’t pay any attention to him today, I suggest you go out and spend some time with someone else’s dad instead.
Go on. Pick a random guy who looks like he’d enjoy corny jokes and bagels with cream cheese. Pick a guy who looks like he might be good at fixing stuff. Pick a guy who looks like he might open his wallet and press a twenty into your hand to buy yourself something nice (because he’s so addled that he doesn’t know that it takes at least ten times that much to buy something nice because you don’t live in Nowheresville, U.S.A. the way he does but on the cutting edge in a chic, metropolitan city!).
Pick a guy, any guy. If he’s well-dressed, then that’s a bonus, but if he’s kinda shabby that’s OK too. Just make sure he could quite possibly be someone’s dad so you don’t make too much of an ass of yourself. (You’ll know if the guy you pick is someone else’s dad because he’ll tell you you’re making an ass of yourself. See how it all works out!?)
Have a fabulous Father’s Day!
P.S. If your own actual dad told you he liked the tie, he was lying.
P.P.S. I wrote this entry using my dad’s computer! Isn’t that neat?