A Story In So Many Words (#5: 100) – “Use Your Noodle”

Every Sunday when Cintra visited her grandparents, she’d find her grandmother in the kitchen stirring a pot of noodles. Egg noodles, for soup. Macaroni, for a cheesy casserole. Spaghetti, for her favorite meatball dish. No matter what kind, Cintra would fish one out and slurp it through her lips. One day she heard her grandmother […]

Not Just Another Day

There is a certain stretch of Sixth Avenue that I use quite frequently. This morning, I saw this there:   I remember the day she was killed. And every time I pass the spot where it happened — and other times when I’m nowhere near Sixth Avenue — I remember that day. I did not […]

What You Don’t Know

What you don’t know, little guy on the uptown “D”, is that I’m wondering if you’re a miniature businessman or some doofy kid on his way home from a downtown school for precocious mini-Wall Streeters. Your subtly striped midnight blue pants (half of a suit, it appears) and dark blue shirt sans tie, big boy […]

No Eye Don’t

For the kathousajillionth to the nth power time: No. No, people, no. No. I do not watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Or any other “reality” shows. Stop asking me. I could not care less about it if I tried. I don’t care to get all wrapped up in two-dimensional “reality” when I have […]

(S)Top This!

“I get five, six hours of sleep, max,” he says. “That’s nothing,” she says. “I get four. On a good night.” “I only need three,” another girl says. “Even on the weekends.” “I pull all-nighters at least twice a week,” another guy says. “And some days all I need is a nap in my office […]

Street Treat

Go on. Go to town. Amuse yourself. Make all sorts of limp jokes based on words that appear on the signs, i.e., “honk” and “yield”. Work in the word “penal”. Incorporate “$350” somewhere, in a reference to the cost of services rendered. Whatever. I don’t care. I have a headache.

Vigilante

A few days ago, while putting on my watch, I suddenly realized I didn’t know how to work its clasp anymore. A huge question mark floated above my head (it was actually dangling on a very thin, almost invisible wire — I don’t go in for fancy computer-generated effects) for the hour it took me […]

Meow

You are bored tonight. Admit it. Know how you can stop being bored? (Other than that.) (Beast.) You can draw me somethin’. All the cool bored kids are doing it. You’re cool too. Aren’t you?