Shop Girl

Dear Shop Girl at MXYPLYZK:
When I was in “your” shop on Saturday afternoon, a well-spoken young woman asked you how to pronounce its name. Your unblinking eyes looked at her with an air of icy superiority, and you supplied a monotone answer, barely inflecting the third syllable: “Mix-ee-PLIH-zick.”
I’m sure this isn’t the first time a customer has asked you how to pronounce the name of the shop. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. In fact, I’m willing to bet (your life!) that people ask you this question every day. You should be used to it by now. And you should expect it.
May I tell you that the store’s name is a bit unusual? May I direct your bored attention to its lack of vowels? May I dig my fingernails into your wrist and slap you across your supercilious cheek as I remind you the store is not called “The Smith Store”?
When you do move on to bigger and better things, dear, you won’t have to deal with such atrocities as being asked to pronounce the name of the store. After all, everyone knows how to pronounce “Gap”.
P.S. May I remind you, a la Edina of Absolutely Fabulous, that you are a shop girl? And inform you, a la me, that you are a FKNGZZHL?
Note:  I do not smoke, and don’t allow it in this apartment, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want this.