Read all about it!

I went to the library yesterday afternoon for a short stack of books (with REAL MAPLE SYRUP), and left bookless. I then visited every used book store in the city — including, of course, all eight miles of The Strand — and every branch of Barnes & Noble. Borders, too. And everywhere else books like to hide out.
But in every case, the result was the same: I left bookless. Book-free. No books.
This is not like me. I’m never sans book.
I went to bed confused.
It wasn’t until I woke up this morning that I realized what happened: I’ve finally read every single book in the universe!
Everything except Harry Potter, that is, which you still couldn’t pay me in free boots and tofu to read.