If you haven’t already noticed on your own, please allow me to direct your lazy attention to the cartoon likeness of me at the top of this page, which I have changed from the summertime, tank-top sportin’ Jodi to the original “Classic Jodi”.
Classic Jodi is the turtleneck-wearing Jodi. The jaunty Jodi. The Jodi whose laughter is as crisp as the newly fallen leaves through which she romps prettily in her kicky boots because now it is autumn (or “fall”, for the monosyllabic among you) a season that has always been her favorite, even when it was tainted with the hideous reality of “Back to School”.
Today is the first day of the new season, in case you haven’t noticed. And I don’t care if the temperature and the humidity still haven’t gotten their fat asses out of summer from today on out, I’m going to strut down Broadway in sweaters and boots, waving an old-fashioned college pennant and cradling a pumpkin in my arms like a newborn baby.
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Remember: Pumpkins are precious, and not for smashing, despite what that insipid rock ‘n’ roll band and Gallagher will have you believe.