Anti-Anti-Valentine’s Day

I’m all atwitter. Sittin’ on pins ‘n’ needles. Can barely contain myself inside my own (smooth, silky, butter-soft) skin. I’ve been waiting since Christmas for another round of original, righteous rants about “commercialization” … and now I won’t have to wait much longer, ’cause Valentine’s Day is just over two weeks away! This means it’s time for everyone to start composing their passionate Anti-Valentine’s Day rants about how if you love someone you don’t need Hallmark to tell you when to tell that person because damn it all to hell, you love your honey bunny every day and make sure to let him know by hiding Post-Its in his shoes! You won’t be led by corporate America! Besides, when you don’t have time to make your own cards and are forced to buy a Hallmark, you choose the ones that are blank inside! No one speaks for you!
Of course, this is assuming that you even have a special guy or gal. Because if you don’t, this is your time to assert your single status and claim you’re fine, really you are, with being single, and just because no one finds you cute enough to cuddle up next to as you watch reality shows, that doesn’t mean you’re not a lovable person. You can send yourself flowers! YOU love you, and that’s all that really counts anyway, isn’t it? Isn’t it?!!
P.S. Don’t forget to include in your rants something about the extortion-like prices of red roses, and how you wouldn’t give something as uninspired as red roses anyway, even if you were going to be a sellout this year and celebrate VD (LOL!), which you’re not!