You Lose

Because I was intent on winning on eBay tonight, you lose out on my hilarious bon mots for the day. After all, anyone who’s honest with herself knows that material possessions are much more lasting than laughter.
As a result of my successful bidding, I’m out $20.50 plus $3.50 shipping and handling, plus an optional $1.30 insurance charge. But you? Well, you just can’t put a price on trauma and letdown, can you?
Go to sleep, sheep. I’m off to count you. (See, you do count, after all!)