You may know that today is Leap Day. And although the word “leap” brings to mind visions of yellow puppies joyously frolicking across verdant fields of clover or frogs lying in wait on lilypads in crystal-clear ponds, all is not necessarily nice. Some people, I have been pained to witness, can be ostracized on this day. But it is not their fault they are pariahs. It is the fault of the stars. And by stars I do not mean Hollywood luminaries, such as those you will see tonight when you watch the Academy Awards. Although of course I am willing to blame ostracization on a movie star, especially if that movie star is poorly dressed or arrives on the arm of Tom Cruise. Or is Tom Cruise.
So, anyway, today is Leap Day. This year is a Leap Year. This means that today you are free to do or say anything without fear of reproach, because February 29 will not exist next year. Thus, your best friend will not be able to turn to you while flying a kite in the meadow this time next year and breezily wonder aloud, “Hey, Clarissa, what were we doing one year ago today?” You may think this is sad, but it is not. You see, this gives you license to eat something not good for you or treat people poorly.
I did both today. I ate french fries.* And about an hour later yelled at a chunky blonde at the Macy*s ATM (sadly, I do not have a photo). In all fairness, both were deserved: I worked out this morning for two hours. And the chunky blonde stood in front of the ATM for two hours doing all the banking she hadn’t done since Leap Year 2000.
I would love nothing more than to expand upon this notion for the next few hours, but with only four hours and 41 minutes to go before the end of this Leap Day, I have a lot to accomplish. As do you. So what are you waiting for? Go! Do something beyond reproach! And don’t bother looking before you leap!
* Look! (accompanied by seitan cheesesteak, and what appears to be a disproportionately large slice of pickle, at Life Cafe)