Regular Life

Today, just like last Sunday, and Saturday the week before, I had breakfast at Life Cafe. I am trying with all my might (and believe me, that’s a lot of might) to become a “regular” so I can feel loved and accepted and part of the in-crowd. If the waitstaff at Life Cafe is what you consider the in-crowd, that is. And I do. I just know all of them are colorful and brilliant artistes. Painters, writers, musicians, poets, sculptors, designers, actors all.
I’ve gone to Life Cafe three times now, during the weekend, and each time have sat at the same table at approximately the same time.* I have been served by the same fellow each time. I have even seen one of his T-shirts twice. This makes me feel I am on the road to becoming a true regular.
Today I placed my usual (!) order with a bit of world-weary, slightly bemused wryness. “Eggless rancheros” (pictured here!), I said with a slight, self-deprecating chortle. The subtext, of course, was “Today I still have to place my order with you, young man, but trust me, soon when I am seated at this table, you need not even ask for my order. And eventually, you will automatically bring hot sauce!” I even slumped a bit in my chair, as seems de rigeuer in the restaurant, instead of maintaining ramrod perfect posture (thanks, Pilates!), just so he would not deem me uptight or uptown. It is very important that the server approve of and adore me, so he does not, for some zany reason, slip eggs into my rancheros!
It is my hope that someday soon I will not only not have to place my order at all, but it will be waiting for me, hot, at my table, the moment I enter the premises. And the waiter will just stop by the table to chat the easygoing chat and wink the special wink reserved for the regulars. And I will know I have, at long last, succeeded in Life.
* No, I will not tell you what time I go. I do not want you showing up. I do not want you to think you can approach me there, clutching your portfolio and résumé, and expect me to put down my fork to interview you on the spot. Send it to me via email like everyone else.