Because I do not have enough do-re-mi stashed in my cleavage to see “Lost In Translation” this afternoon, I am going to the Macy*s sale instead. So instead of cutting a hole in the bottom of my popcorn cup, pulling my dick through that hole, and challenging myself to “butter” my snack, I will be emulating Wilma Flintstone and her pretty sidekick Betty Rubble as I grasp my charge-a-plate, extend my arm skyward, and giggle-yell, “Chaaaaarge it!”
So if you’ve been meaning to meet me in person … if you’ve been aching to see me in glorious full color … if you’ve been dying to buy me a pretty present and have me be present (and, of course, pretty) while you do so … today’s the day to do it. Just come to Macy*s Herald Square and look for me. It should be easy, because the store has only eight floors and only takes up an entire city block.
See you there!