It is my hope that this Memorial Day weekend will be the most memorable ever. If you happen to be fortunate enough to be in Manhattan — either as a tourist or as a resident with the good sense not to participate in the nonsense of the Hamptons — please feel free to contribute to my memories by flagging me down if you see me.
But how will I know you, Jodi? you ask, crinkling your face in that way that shows the cutest little wrinkle between your eyes. Should I just look for a stunning girl with a winsome smile and perfect posture, who looks like she just indulged in tofu or Pilates?
Well, yes. And make her a 5’6″ brunette with a beefy laugh, and you’ll have no trouble picking me out.
You may also want to look for the hibachi I’ve had affixed to my back for the duration of the weekend. (Don’t worry. Screws don’t hurt.) That’s right. This girl’s got her grill on! So if you’ve ever fantasized about flipping sizzlin’ burgers on the back of a babe in May in Manhattan, now’s your chance. I’ll even indulge your burning desire to make jokes about my supplying the “buns”.
This might just be the weekend you finally get to make use of the spatula you’ve been keeping in your pants for so long. If so, give yourself a patty on the back!