On my way home from the gym yesterday morning (fitness never rests!), I almost tripped over this lethargic lump loungin’ on the curb:

A police car passed and then backed up. The officer asked him what he was doing. What do you think he said? (Yes, this is an invitation for you to comment. Consider it my holiday gift to you. No purchase necessary. Offer good until I decide to take it away.)
P.S. Yes, I’ve already noticed how, from this angle, the hydrant looks quite genitalic emerging from between his legs. Oh yes.