Pop Goes the Geezer

You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a lumpy, dumpy, toothless old man slumped in his bus seat, wearing filthy pants that cannot conceal what appears to be either an edematous groin or a small cushy pillow tucked inside, reaching his gnarled, grubby hand into a crumpled plastic Zabar’s bag to pull out a fistful of popcorn, cramming it into the black hole that is his gaping maw, and masticating every last bit of the pop out of it until there’s nothing left but cud, which he chews even more vigorously than he did the original morsel. You just haven’t lived.