Moon Boot Boon

The last time I looked, we were living on Earth. I am almost certain that since yesterday afternoon (the last time I looked), (1) the planet didn’t morph into the moon, (2) we weren’t transported en masse to the moon while we were engrossed in sudoku*, and/or (3) we didn’t discover that, oh my god, we’ve been living on the moon all along and why didn’t someone tell us before now.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but Earth’s properties (the ability to sustain life, the availability of good books, the abundance of french fries) are still pretty much the same since yesterday. Those of us fortunate enough to be equipped with feet still have them planted firmly on the ground, thanks to a little thing I like to call gravity. We are not floating around in the dark ink of outer space, hovering over a pockmarked moon, grabbing at its surface from time to time to snag a free piece of green cheese. Why, then, are some of our citizens wearing these?:


What gives? Could it be that finally finally FINALLY, the glut of ubiquitous yellow rubber Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG bracelets has gotten on our collective nerve, and now we’re jumping on the Neil Armstrong bandwagon? The tide may indeed be turning, thanks to the moon. But no thanks.
* Yes, it is my mission to remind you of sudoku at every turn and almost every twist. It is my goal to have you hooked by no later than sundown today. If you’re not already, that is. And if you are, then I hope that, by reminding you of it again, only three days after first introducing it, you are well on your way to full and irreversible addictive damage.
P.S. If you absolutely insist on looking like a jackass, here is a good starting point.