About two weeks ago, I gave you the opportunity to vote in a poll. Thank you to the 43 people who participated. I appreciate your input and dedication. To the many others who visited my site but chose to ignore the poll for whatever reason, I hope “the holidays” bring you gifts of cheap sweaters with scratchy tags at the neck, eggnog spiked with the phlegmy contents of a syphillitic orphan’s esophagus, and more than the requisite “winter weight” you so jovially pack on because, hey, it’s the holidays, and, well, hahaha, hohoho, that’s just the way it is and who cares because the itchy sweaters will cover your flub and you’ll die of syphillis anyway because eggnog is just so tasty (and, really, who can even tell if there’s phlegm in it?) and you can’t help yourself, you just can’t help yourself.
In case the poll is gone by the time you read this, or you are, right now, as of this writing, too busy to click on the link leading to the original post containing it, you can view the question and the results here. (See how nice I am? Those of you who voted don’t have to click on that because you know the poll to which I refer. I am supplying this screenshot for those of you who were too busy [you’re always so super duper busy!] to vote in the first place. Just because you don’t love me enough to vote, doesn’t mean I’m going to be mean or spiteful.)
So, as you can see, 23% of the people voted incorrectly. Anyone who didn’t find that Santa tag even marginally disturbing obviously doesn’t have a perverse bone in his body or just flat-out refuses, on some sort of “principle”, to acknowledge the FACT that Santa’s mouth is a GLORY HOLE. And there is something wrong with that. These are the same people who will say they don’t mind the itchy sweater tag, the effects of syphillis, and being fatsos forever. But they should be aware that their incorrect vote has left me with no choice but to scorn them publicly. As I have just done.
Then again, maybe that 23% did acknowledge the condition of Santa’s mouth and voted as they did not because they have pure minds but because they have filthy ones and don’t find the notion of a glory hole disturbing at all. If that’s the case, then never mind the sweaters, syphillis, and stoutness! You’re all winners!
Glory be!