Awwww, don’t be like this, baby. I like you. I really do. You’re smart and pretty and thin but not too thin and always look great. But as I said, it’s not going to work out for us. I just don’t see it going anywhere.
(Why do I even bother? I’m a catch. I can do better than Marcy anyway. Yeah, she dresses well, she’s great-lookin’. She gets me. And the guys all like her, and even some of the girls, but it’s just gotta end. I mean, look at me. Look at my face. My eyes. My lips. My hair! I’m dreamy, damn it. I can have anyone I want, and I will. I’m sure I can find someone just like Marcy …)
(… but who actually owns shoes.)