You think you know what a cow looks like until you try to draw one and you can’t, for the life of moo*, remember the placement of a cow’s ears or if it has lips or not. And hmmmm, how are the eyes placed? (You’re pretty sure they’re wide-set, but not as wide as those of a flounder.) Does it have a large nose/snout? So you put your pencil to paper and start to sketch a cow as best as memory serves you. Perhaps if you close your eyes, it will come to you. But when it comes right down to it, every cow you draw winds up looking just like every dog you draw. “This is a Chow,” you yell, breaking your #2 pencil in half with both hands, “not a COW!”
I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, Jodi,” you say with a shake of your head, “don’t have a cow!” (I will leave it to your imagination as to what I’m thinking in response.)
If you don’t believe me, try it right now. Take your hand off your mouse, your eyes off the monitor, and get yourself a pencil, pen, crayon, Sharpie, or whatever implement you prefer. You can even go to my “For the Refrigerator” page and do it there (which will not require you to remove your hand from your mouse or your eyes from the monitor). Now: draw a cow. Without Googling one, or glancing over at your pet cow, curled up cutely on his little cow bed, and without taking a peek at the foil-wrapped wedge of Laughing Cow cheese you keep on a lanyard or lorgnette.
My drawing is sad on two fronts, because it demonstrates that not only can I not draw a cow, but I cannot draw a carrot either. “What does a carrot have to do with it?” you’re wondering. “That’s like apples and oranges!” Well, you see, it so happens that recently I’ve been thinking of meat-and-vegetable hybrids as a portable snack food for omnivorous people on the go, and came up with a cowrot (pronounced NOT as “cow rot”, but almost like “cawwot”, the way a little kid would say “carrot” if he were one of those kids who cannot pronounce his “r”s properly) (for the record, I do not like those kids)**, and as part of the formal submission to the proper authorities, I had to include an illustration of a prototype.
Here’s what I came up with:
Click to view incredible detail
Up next: Asparagoat!
* cue canned laughter
** My sister had a friend in high school who, when apologizing, would say, “Sowwy Chawwie” in a misguided attempt at being adorable. It made me want to braid her hair tightly so that it resembled a noose and then hang her, unapologetically, with her own hair-noose.