OK, so Monday blows. Yes. We all know it. It’s been memorialized in song, I’m sure, and perhaps in poetry and in pudding and in a performance art piece downtown in whatever town you live in, and of course you know all about “Someone’s got a case of the Mondays” if you have ever watched Office Space, which I am willing to bet your life you have.
So, listen. Here’s what I’m going to do for you. I’m going to give you a little tip on how to have fun today. Actually, the fun that this tip will no doubt engender can be enjoyed any day of the week, but since Monday is the day that takes the brunt of the blame, I’m suggesting you just do it on Monday. Because every little bit helps. Trust me. I know.
So. This is what you do. Buy your coffee or your Skittles or your Funyuns or your do(ugh)nut wherever you buy it. And say, for example, your total comes to $5.26. (N.B. This would indicate price-gouging in the case of the Skittles, and I would alert the authorities if I were you.) Here’s where the fun comes in. Don’t hand over an even $6.00. Don’t hand over $6.01, to get back three quarters. Hand over $23.14. And then, when the clerk or cashier or whomever is in charge of taking your hard-earned do re mi looks at you askance and a certain sense of flabbergastery overcomes his or her confused face, don’t do a thing. Just enjoy!
Not that I would ever do anything like this. I only make suggestions. I don’t necessarily live by them.
Enjoy your day.
P.S. I really want you to do this. Today. If you do, please write to me and let me know what, if anything, happened. I know this is asking a lot of you, given that I haven’t been around much lately, but still. Try it.