You love word problems, don’t you?

If I chortled 92% over this on 21 December:

Eisenberg’s Sandwich Shop
Fifth Avenue at 22nd Street

and was 78% as genuinely amused by it only one day later,
and fake-chortled 157% over this on 23 December:

Somewhere ‘tween Fayetteville, Arkansas
and the “XNA” Airport

and was 82% as fake-amused by it on 26 December,
how much of my personality was I willing to sacrifice when going west of the Mississippi?
Please show your math.