In Security

Ladies, let’s stop, you know, fronting. The real issue any of you have with the backscatter*, the scanning device that just made its debut in a Phoenix airport, is not one involving a violation of privacy (it’s X-ray-ted!) but one of appearing, or actually being, fat on-screen. An upcoming flight might carry for you, the passenger, the same frenzied incentive to lose weight as, say, your wedding, a high school reunion, or standing next to Kelly Ripa now carries. Thus, this could be one of those blessings in disguise you hear so much about, yes?
*P.S. Please feel free to conjure up other, decidedly more salacious images that come to mind when you hear “backscatter”. I’ll sit here and cringe at the notion.