Lies My Products Told Me – Part 3

Although almost four and a half years have already passed since the previous installment in the so-far-so-short series, I do not want you to think that this is an indication that my products have been on their best behavior since then and thus have not disappointed me enough to not only warrant private attention but to earn public inclusion in the series. This is not the case. Trust me, I am quite well-acquainted with disappointment. I just don’t want to dwell on it. Because you know me, I so hate to complain. (insert winky emoticon nudging a companion emoticon disinterested to the point of pretending to listen to a really hilarious podcast on his iPod so engaging that it cannot be bothered to even notice it’s been nudged)
So. What is the product that has disappointed me so much that I have decided to break the silence and resurrect the series?
I mean, come on, concombre. I won’t be encumbered with your con. Your seedy claim of seedlessness. Sans graines, you say? I’m sorry, but this is a clear-cut, crisp case of avec.
It’s not that I’m against seeds/graines. No, not at all. In fact, I think they are rather cute and conjure up fond memories of my darling Bubby slicing a cucumber length-wise and handing me a spear or two, which I would drag my teeth along (despite its plea of “No teeth!”) to get a mouthful (shhhhhh) of seed (oh, stop it). But if you’re going to say you are sans, make good on your promise.
Unlike the other two products included in the series, however, I will continue to buy this variety of cucumber. But at least now I know what I’m dealing with and can adjust my attitude and expectations accordingly.

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