Just when I was about to say that Gawker wouldn’t know true hilarity if it fell on them from a window like a big old-fashioned black safe, they go and post this creation of mine:
My faux New Yorker cartoon!
Why it took me two months to check the site to see if they used it is beyond me. Nevertheless, it is never too late to realize one’s fame.
I have truly arrived.
P.S. Go here to see it mixed in with all the others, all famous-like.
Starbucks is the bane of many-a-vegan (well, this one anyway).
Can we also call you Carol-Ann? I’m not sure when an appropriate moment to do so would be, but I can think of a few when it would not be a good idea.
And you checked the cup? Really? The CUP? The bar is set pretty damned high with you.
You, of all people, dearest Token fella, know just how high the bar is set. And oh, I must say, it’s always fun to watch you try to limbo underneath it.
There isn’t even any coffee in a Crappuccino, is there? No wonder you’re hanging your cuddly, cucumber-melon scented head in shame.
Hey girl. I found your site through Rian’s. You have such a wonderful style of writing, do you write professionally??
Also, I was wondering if you can suggest any vegan cookbooks. I’ve been vegetarian for 13 years and have attempted going vegan a few times (with no success). Cheese tends to be my downfall although I’ve tried some vegan cheeses and I must say they aren’t half bad. I’d love any input from you.
As for the Starbucks, sounds yummy. I tend to do the boring iced coffee with soy milk myself.
Anyway..sorry for the ramble. I’ll see you soon on Rian’s website, I’m sure…
Jeffrey: There’s probably about as much coffee in one of those things as there is meat (urrrmph) in a fast food hamburger. But no, this does not mean that the next time I fall off the vegan wagon, I’ll be climbing aboard the chuckwagon.
Karma: Hello! Hey! Email me at the address you’ll find when you click on “Email is cute.” in my sidebar, and we’ll gab like girls privately.
M.A.C. Viva Glam. Why am I not surprised?
And then you fucked Jeremy Piven in the ass. Shouldn’t every episode in your life end this way?
Um, I think the metaphors may not be so much mixed as just mis-applied. If you raise the bar quite high, doesn’t it become quite easy for me to limbo under? Perhaps I should be trying to do the Fosbury Flop over it.
Terry: The bulls insist on it.
Jay: Okay, all right. If you insist. (And you do.) But I won’t enjoy it. Absolutely not.
Token fella: Ahhh, c’mon. You love when I mix and/or misapply my metaphors. And you love it even more when I do both at the same time. Plus, I was waiting for you to notice that, by raising the bar, I was facilitating your limbo. You know I don’t like making things hard for you.
I KNEW when it came right down to it, you would blame your hair for your lapse in vegan-judgement. Those protien-laden follicles who so often have a mind of their own have once again led you down a path of corrpution, and it would appear your tastebuds are participating in the coup. Before you know it, you’ll be eating fatty McDonalds French Fries deepfried in animal lard and dunken not quite so seductively 4 at a time into tiny paper cups filled with former vegetables that gave their lives only to be whipped, pureed, sugarfied and squeezed out of a bottle marked HEINZ so that they could be mere accessories to your carnivorous fascinations. How long before you’re trying the mystery meat down at the Old Country Buffet? Or worse, sinking your teeth into an actual marbled and rare piece of beef, lamp, poultry or fish? (I left out pork assuming even renegade, mutineering mouthparts could not sway you from your religion…)
Now THAT would be a bad hair day!!!
Looks at Jodi’s and tokens bars and making things hard comments and repeatedly mutters under his breath….
“I will not hijack this thread… I will not hijack this thread… I will not hijack this thread…”
The next time you want to sample a meat based product, I have a length of man sausage I’d like to feed you… in an entirely scientific manner of course, sterile and clinical; mesuring gag reflex, arousal and ability to take such humilitaion in stride what with the other scientists watching, taking notes and awaiting to experiement themselves.
Perhaps even with each other…
That is a different missive entirely.
RESTRAINT, Ds… RESTRAINT – YOU CAN GO IT!!!
Hmmmm. Restraints… Oh….
GOD! “DO IT!” “YOU CAN DO IT, DS!”
What in the fuck is “Go it?”
No sis of mine is veggie eating decaf drinking! NO!
Why all of a sudden to I feel like a tiny locomotive trying to get up a steep hill?
“I think I can. I think I can.”
Crap, Kate. Now you’ve gone and made me do it. Or go it. Or whatever the heck it is you’ve forced me to do.