Weekend Warriors

Ways to piss off biodad on weekend visits:
Brother: Unwrap many straws. Fashion a long chain/tube of them by sticking their ends inside each other (hottt!). Place one end of the chain/tube into your drinking glass, which you will have placed far away from you, across the table. Commence distance-drinking.
Sis: Dump Sweet ‘n’ Low and sugar and their torn-open paper packets, ketchup, mustard, and shredded napkin in water glass. Stir with spoon until overflow. Continue after overflow.
Me: Blow massive bubbles in chocolate milk until they form what appears to be a brain tumor and spill onto the table.

0 thoughts on “Weekend Warriors

  1. First it was the flaming red nails pawing seductively at the rear end of some anonymous British import. Now it’s beating dead whores.
    Jodi, if Token ever fails in his duties as Fella, I humbly submit my resume, complete with references from both my left AND right hands to my sexual prowess. I am, after all, ambisexterous, meaning I can pleasure you me or the neighbor’s Great Dane with either hand.

  2. First it was the flaming red nails pawing seductively at the rear end of some anonymous British import. Now it’s beating dead whores.
    Jodi, if Token ever fails in his duties as Fella, I humbly submit my resume, complete with references from both my left AND right hands to my sexual prowess. I am, after all, ambisexterous, meaning I can pleasure you me or the neighbor’s Great Dane with either hand.

  3. First it was the flaming red nails pawing seductively at the rear end of some anonymous British import. Now it’s beating dead whores.
    Jodi, if Token ever fails in his duties as Fella, I humbly submit my resume, complete with references from both my left AND right hands to my sexual prowess. I am, after all, ambisexterous, meaning I can pleasure you me or the neighbor’s Great Dane with either hand.

  4. Holy Excrement! What in Dante’s Inferno happened there? My sincerest apologies for what can only be my crappy Mac computer…
    Either that or keep an eye out for me in the next
    “Hands Gone Wild – the Uncensored Edition!” video available on VHS and DVD.

  5. And that would be your downfall. In order to properly take care of our Jewish Goddess, all hand motions must be carefully orchestrated.
    Now other things may go wild…
    -not going anywhere
    TF

  6. Enough?
    The poor girl has made a bevy of bad choices and I am sick of hearing about them ans seeing them too, but there is a train wreck aspect to her that makes people continue to look. Unfortunately, those who are looking are not the ones who seem to care about her…

  7. It’s less of the trainwreck aspect and more of her boxcars and caboose that I think has half of the population looking at her…
    Not that I would know. I never take the train.

  8. “Crappy MAC?????”

    Oh, Ds. If it has not happened already, LIGHTENING WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN!!!

    Oh – and you’ve obviously never see anyone assist in the pleasuring of a dog. It’s a two-handed job.

    And just in case you think that’s some sort of fetish confession, it’s simply a reporting of eye witness accounts of certain moments of…animal husbandry…

  9. Kate –
    No my animal-loving colleague of all things carnal, I have never done a Dalmation with one OR two fisted ferver. I prefer when it comes to canine, to stick to the old standby of just slipping them a bone.
    Now that’s doin’ it doggystyle.

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