No Sale

You would love my niece, she says.
I would hate her, I think.
This kid lives in a sprawling Park Avenue apartment with her brother and ridiculously rich mother, who is only rich because she married and divorced very well. All she wants to do is act and write and produce, and, oh, the little darling is home-schooled because she just can’t bother being around the other kids at regular school. Her tutor is gorgeous, young, and Portuguese.
This kid speaks three languages.
She has lunch with Kevin Kline.
These are all supposed to be selling points.
I’m not buying.