Tell me you’re doing something more worthwhile with your time this evening than watching the Super Bowl. Tell me you’re clipping a hangnail (as I cringe audibly at the mere thought of the accompanying “cleeeeek” of your preferred implement). Or tell me you’re tearing off the hangnail with your teeth (as I flinch with what I think is a suggestion of a chill/thrill as I imagine the possibility of tiny blood dots forming near your cuticles). Or tell me you’re hang-gliding. Yes, hang-gliding while reading this on some sort of hand-held hybrid GPS/browser device that I’m not quite geeky enough to know for sure even exists (but which I trust someone else, somewhat more advanced in his or her geekiness, will confirm or deny).
Tell me you’re doing anything but watching the Super Bowl, and I will add you to my list of people I don’t necessarily have to scorn. At least for that reason.
And if you tell me you’re watching Puppy Bowl IV and can’t tear your eyes away, you will super bowl me over.
So, what’s it going to be?