Non-Sent (circa 2006)

Dear DB:
Your ignoring me is small potatoes. Very very small, tiny, indeed MINUSCULE potatoes. Don't you know that I have been ignored by men who are way more good-looking, talented, sexy, funny, well-read, well-bred, and intelligent than you? Men who have better hair and bodies and clothes and shoes and cars and apartments and sob stories? Men who are better kissers and other-stuffers?
Please don't flatter yourself into thinking that your ignoring me has made that much of an impact on my life. You are a tater tot compared to the super spuds who've come before you.
Love,
J.