Ahhh, yes. The delightful belly chain. The accessory equivalent of the ubiquitous “tramp stamp” that litters the lower backs of so many ill-advised women whose only association with the term “three-way” has nothing to do with a mirror. Nothing says, “Please take me seriously and stop looking at me that way” than littering your body with such elegant accoutrements, including bellybutton piercings, gold ankle bracelets, and a couple of rings on your French-pedicured toes. Smack on a couple of overinflated fake tits, an orange tan, and dark lip-liner, and ladies, you’re good to go. To the STD clinic, that is.