Ahhh, yes. The delightful belly chain. The accessory equivalent of the ubiquitous “tramp stamp” that litters the lower backs of so many ill-advised women whose only association with the term “three-way” has nothing to do with a mirror. Nothing says, “Please take me seriously and stop looking at me that way” than littering your body with such elegant accoutrements, including bellybutton piercings, gold ankle bracelets, and a couple of rings on your French-pedicured toes. Smack on a couple of overinflated fake tits, an orange tan, and dark lip-liner, and ladies, you’re good to go. To the STD clinic, that is.
I used to have my finger on the pulse of many patients. Now I only check my own.
In the future you must tell us the background story that pushed you over the edge with a certain phrase. I would love to know who the poor sucker is who said “finger on the pulse” to you that led to this. (I hope you went easy on him.)
Believe it or not, Mrs. Z (believe it!), no one person/sucker is responsible for pushing me over the edge. This public promulgation was prompted by hearing something different yet equally irritating, i.e. “think outside the box”, which made me think of other similar phrases that make me want to assemble shish kebab out of the gall bladder, eyeballs, and tongues of anyone who insists on littering his or her vocabulary with this tripe.
Kind of like coloring outside the lines?