Conversation between Jeremy, my gay laptop, who joined the family a year ago, and Gregory, my straight digital piano keyboard, who joined almost two weeks ago. All you need by way of background is that Jeremy is a notorious flirt, and his method consists entirely of pointing out to his “target” the traits the two of them have in common.
Here is his first attempt to woo Gregory, a few hours after they were introduced.

Jeremy: Hey, Gregory.
Gregory: Hello, Jeremy.
Jeremy: I’m shiny, you’re shiny …
Gregory: Yes.
Jeremy: I’m a keyboard, you’re a keyboard …
Gregory: Yes.
Jeremy: So, you wanna get QWERTY with me?
Gregory: I’m not that kind of keyboard.

And … strike 1.