Tip for the Waitstaff

Although I appreciate your willingness to hover over my shoulder like a hummingbird jacked up up and away on a palmful of high grade amphetamines, I will not know, until I have tasted what you have just placed before me, whether or not I would like you to supplement it with freshly ground black pepper via the enormous mill aggressively pressed against your chest like a rifle. It is in exceedingly poor taste to chirp an affirmative without first sampling the food that someone with much more skill with a skillet than I can ever hope to achieve has prepared.